How to Get Over a Relationship                       

How to Get Over a Relationship

So you thought you found the love of your life. Things are great and your mind is at ease. You live life every day knowing that no matter what happens you still have your soul mate. Or do you?

Even though you’ve shared everything under the sun together and pretty much built your life around one another, it isn’t working. For one reason or another it had to end. Why? Don’t torture yourself with the question; you’ll only end up right back where you started. And though you may not have had control over it ending, you do control how you react.

Interestingly enough, you learn the most about yourself when your down like this. So don’t drown in a sea of lonely hearts, this is a blessing in disguise! Here are some ways you can kick the breakup blues and move forward without ever looking back.

There is only so much your friends can hear about the ‘break up' before you start to hear the dreaded echo “Get over it already!” Usually this is said by the friend who has never had their heart broken. So you’ll need someone to vent to when your friends start avoiding the drama associated with your hangouts.

If your enrolled in high school or college, there are centers available that provide these services. Research where they are and make a single appointment. If not, find a service in the yellow pages that will offer the first session for free. The first visit will determine if you even need counseling, or if you’ll benefit from frequent visits. This may sound a little dramatic or over the top, but if you’ve found yourself in the dark abyss of depression, this is a sure way to find light in your life again.

Visiting a counselor is a strong step forward because you’re recognizing you need some help to get through this and are reacting to the scenario by taking action in a positive way.

Keep a Journal/Diary

Writing your thoughts in a journal is an excellent way to vent your emotions. If you haven’t tried this before here’s an easy way to start.

Find a secluded area of your house, or a quiet place elsewhere like a library or coffee shop. Get out a blank sheet of paper and at the top write down the question, “How are you feeling today?” Answer the question with whatever comes to mind, even if it’s not in a sentence. If nothing is coming, try putting on some headphones and listening to some relaxing music. Pay attention to the instruments and lyrics.Jot down phrases that resonate with you and start from there. Here’s what worked for me.

I was listening to Allman Brothers in the library while doing this exercise and heard Greg sing “your eyes remind me of everything beautiful and blue,” I had to pause the song (Desdemona) to write this down, my hand was shaking and I was crying. Something interesting happened after I wrote it down. The italics represent a 2-way conversation. This is what I wrote.

This is a shorted version of a conversation I had written several years back. I went on to fill pages like this until I got to that last question. “What are you going to do about that?” This is the question that allows you to level with yourself and determine how your going to let the situation affect you. Will you choose to feel bad and welcome sadness into your life? Or will you choose to feel good and welcome happiness? Easier said than done right? Let me show you how this works.

Convert the sadness and negativity into positive growth. Let these feelings motivate you to take action and change your situation for the better. You do this by making positive changes in your lifestyle. (Keep reading for examples of positive changes). The situation will no longer seem negative because the results you create will manifest positive growth. You will benefit from the situation. Soon you will credit your productivity to having been in such an emotionally fragile state in the first place.

This is what I’m talking about.

Negative Feeling>Positive Action>Positive Results> Positive

Feeling>Happiness

Simple right? If you can master this formula, you can create an antidote to sadness and see the positive light in every situation. The hardest part of this equation is action, which is what the question “What are you going to do about that” is suppose to do. Make you act!
You’ll begin to draw strength from yourself and as a result become a more secure, confident person!

Be Positive and Optimistic

Welcome optimism and positivity into your life.
Your scenario will feel like less of a crisis and more like an opportunity when you adopt this attitude. However, when your trying to get over a relationship, especially a serious one, it’s hard to see the bright side of anything. Here are a couple of ways you can begin to change your perception and become more optimistic.

Develop Positive Habits

-Change your diet to include more healthy foods
-Quit destructive habits like drinking and smoking
-Become involved with the community
-Discover a different way to express yourself
-Set goals that inspire you to act
-Increasing your physical and mental strength

The process can be called self help, personal development or life change. It’s important however, that you take action. Reading self-help books alone won’t help you create positive change. Take the initiative to go out into the world and begin to create the results you want.

Smile often and you will be smiled at
Surround yourself with positive people
Get a book of aphorisms; they help to simplify difficult situations in life
Establish priorities, write them down

Keep projecting positive vibrations. Whenever a negative emotion rises when you think of this person just say to them “Be happy” in your mind. Soon that is how you will feel when you think of them. Wish them to be happy. Then move on.

Start a New Hobby

Is there something you’ve always wanted to try and see if your any good at? I’m sure everyone at one point has said to themselves “I’d like to try that but I don’t have the time.” Maybe there’s an instrument you’ve wanted to learn how to play. Or a talent you’ve wanted to develop. Is there a trade or craft that’s always fascinated you? Dive into something and see what happens.

One day I just started running. I didn’t give much thought to where I’d go, I just ran, kind of like Forrest Gump and with similar reasons. I didn’t run across the country or anything, but I did run farther than I’d ever run before. I covered 4 miles that day. The progress I’d made encouraged me to set a higher goal of 10 miles then 15, then 20. Before I knew it, I was running marathons. My life hasn’t been the same since.

It’s interesting how much you can benefit from an experience such as getting over a relationship. The process will take time, but I’ve discovered these days can be the most productive of your life. Make this scenario an opportunity to grow and you’ll be able to move forward without ever looking back!